Book Lust

Did you ever spend a rainy, crummy afternoon hanging out in a bookstore? Not shopping, not running up your credit card bill—just being there, browsing the books. I did just that a couple of days ago, took an afternoon off to have lunch and go booking with friends. We fortified ourselves with pasta and then headed to the discount bookstore and let ourselves loose. I think we were there about two hours and honestly, if they had a cafe and some comfy chairs I could have stayed another hour, at least. If you’re a book person (and if you’re not, why are you reading this?) you will understand.

This is the part that kind of freaks me out—I was in a discount bookstore, where I could have bought lots of good books for two or three dollars each, and I bought nothing, not one single book. Oh, I wanted them. Some of those books, with their lovely cover art and their enticing synopses teasing me, begging me to open them up and read…well, they were nearly irresistible. I did open lots of covers, read some opening sentences, sometimes a little more, and then I closed those covers and put the books back on the shelf. Not that there was anything wrong with any of them…and I certainly could have afforded a three-dollar book. But…

I’ve probably thought about this a little too long, but I realize now that I’m having commitment issues. See, I know I won’t have time to read any of those books, at least not for a while, and I didn’t want to lead them on. No, seriously, I didn’t want them to spend months, years maybe, taking up valuable space on my shelf, where I could see them every day and want to get to know them, wondering how glorious it would be to finally crack that cover and read. I do read in the evenings, but only for half an hour or so, and it takes forever to finish anything. Short books are great because I can read them in a week. I think of them as literary flings; you can have a good time and it doesn’t hurt to say goodbye when it’s over. Anything over 200 pages, though, I have trouble with. That’s at least two weeks of reading, which means I will get emotionally involved. That book will be a part of my life for those weeks, and I know I will feel lost when it’s over. Yes, there will always be another book to read—another chance to get involved and then feel lost when it’s over.

As I said, I have thought about this way too much. I think I’ll go read a good book.