He Said, She Said

“Where do you want to eat tonight,” he said.
“How about that new Italian place,” she said.
“Okay. What time,” he said.
“About seven,” she said.
“Okay,” he said.

Are you still awake? I am, barely. You have just read an example of excruciatingly boring dialogue. In fact, this example is a bit of what I think is the most boring form of dialogue, basically a transcript of a conversation.

Writing good dialogue is tough. Writing flat, uninteresting dialogue is easier and, sadly, much more common. I wish I could tell you there is a foolproof 1-2-3 formula for creating great dialogue, but it really isn’t that simple. However, I do have a few tips for you to keep in mind when your characters start talking.

1. Dialogue is not a transcript. You don’t need to record every word of every conversation, and your readers will get bored if you do. For example, does the last “okay” in our example actually do anything? I would cut that or change it to “He agreed.”
2. Vary the structure. Varying sentence structure is a great way to keep your readers interested. Try using “asked,” “replied,” “whispered,” etc., in addition to “said”—or leave the tag off completely if it is already clear who is speaking. Also, try putting the tags at the beginning, end, and even the middle of the dialogue. For example: “Sounds great,” he agreed. “What time?”
3. Ask yourself if this bit of dialogue is actually doing anything. Part of your job as a storyteller is to give details that are important to the story. Unless the dialogue is doing something important—providing information, revealing character, or advancing the plot—rephrase it or cut it. Look at our example again. Is there any compelling reason not to replace this whole exchange with “They decided to try the town’s new Italian restaurant”?
4. Give each character a voice. We all have our own favorite expressions or ways of wording things. Let your characters have their favorites too. For example, my grandmother frequently says, “Oh, my goodness,” with emphasis on the “good.” This would be a great expression for a character to use (just be careful not to overdo it!).
5. Read your dialogue out loud. Try to forget the way it sounded in your head when you wrote it. Instead, read using only the clues on the page. Your voice should rise and fall naturally with the phrasing and punctuation you have used. If the passage reads “flat” or you get bored halfway through, you have some rewriting—or cutting—to do.

Tags: dialogue